Discipleship 101
This article was first published in the Sept-Oct issue of Net Results magazine.
It’s that time of year again. The calendar has changed from summer to fall; the kids are back in school; the finance committee has begun to prepare for the big end-of-the-year budget push; and the nominating committee has started making the requisite phone calls to try and convince Tom, Julie, Harriet, and Frank to serve on the __________ committee, to lead __________ ministry, or to be a __________ for one more three-year term…and if they’ll serve on two-out-of-three, all the better.
Yeah, it’s that time of the year. Time to fill all the church jobs with a warm, breathing, body and pretty much anyone who’s willing will do. Unfortunately, that kind of recruiting more often than not will ultimately land the church in a mess of troubles.
I find it disheartening that the majority of small and mid-sized churches I work with have a couple of church leaders who are either Church Bullies who throw their weight around or Church Terrorists who hold the church hostage and make threats (I’ll quit; I’ll withhold my giving; or I’ll make trouble). Churches saddled with these leaders often seem resigned to their fate. As badly as some of these leaders behave, the thought of removing them seems more traumatic than putting up with them.
The good news is there’s a way out of this mess…and if your church isn’t in this mess (yet), there’s a way to keep from getting into it. What follows is a model that’s used in a number of churches to raise the spiritual maturity level of their leadership.
Agree On the Church’s Expected Core Behaviors
Over the years there’s been a push to help churches discover their Mission, Vision, and Values…what’s been called the DNA of the church. Some have developed their Core Beliefs as well. But I’ve discovered over the years that there’s a gap in most church’s genetic strand: the Church’s Expected Core Behaviors.
It seems everyone has some expectations of how Christians ought to behave. However, each of us have our own personal list that we project on how other Christians should behave and occasionally we don’t apply that list to ourselves quite as well. When it comes to a church’s core behaviors, too often (1) they’re not shared expectations, (2) they’re not evenly applied, and (3) there’s seldom any accountability for those who behave inappropriately.
Defining a Church’s Expected Core Behaviors isn’t a complicated process; indeed, there are a number of different processes for a church to name and claim them. You could start with a task group. You could start with an official board retreat. You could start with multiple focus groups. Whatever form you choose, I suggest starting the discussion with the New Testament. Get the group/s to walk through the forty or so “One Another” passages and make a core list of expected Christian behaviors. Once you have a list, discuss it. Boil it down. And then take it to your board and get it adopted.
Some churches have an additional list of core behaviors for leaders. As Jesus and James suggested, from those trusted with a great deal, a great deal more is expected (Luke 12:48 and James 3:1). At a minimum, this list includes participation in an intentional small group, treating one another with kindness, and exhibiting self-control. Although this second list may be more difficult to get your current leaders to adopt, since many of your leaders may recognize they aren’t living up to the expectations, if your church has been tolerant of Church Bullies or Church Terrorists, this is a critical must-do step.
Adopt Paul’s Maturity Measurement Method
When it comes to evaluating current leadership or selecting new leaders, I’ve found Paul’s Maturity Measurement Method to be indispensable. Whereas the Church’s Expected Core Behaviors are somewhat open to interpretation, there isn’t much arguing with Paul’s yardstick in Galatians 5:19–23:
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Today’s New International Version)
Notice there are two lists. The first records undesirable characteristics for a church leader while the second records highly desirable characteristics. When we read the first list we may think, “Of course we don’t want leaders like that.” However, many churches overlook or tolerate church members and leaders who build factions to support their personal views, sow discord in parking-lot meetings after services, and even throw temper tantrums (fits of rage) when they don’t get their way.
For years, Kris, my clergy wife, has used Paul’s lists almost exclusively with her church’s nominating committees to help them make decisions about future church leaders. In our experience, when these two lists are before the nominating committee, they have little difficulty discerning which one best describes potential nominees.
Assess All Current and Proposed Leaders
Equipped with the Church’s Expected Core Behaviors and Paul’s Maturity Measurement Method, your personnel/nominating committee is ready to assess current and proposed leaders. When “that time of the year” rolls around, doing a leadership assessment is critical for a couple reasons. First, if all your nominees measure up to the Galatians’ passage and they exhibit the church’s expected behaviors, you can be moderately confident you’ll not be dealing with Church Bullies or Church Terrorists as future leaders. Second, and perhaps most importantly, if the current leadership measures up and exhibits expected behaviors, new leaders will have role models they can admire and emulate. On the other hand, though one bad apple doesn’t in fact spoil the whole bushel, Church Bullies or Church Terrorists make it miserable for everyone serving with them (let alone what it does to the church at large).
One effective way to assess leaders is to meet with the personnel/nominating committee with a complete list of leaders in hand. Now, when I say a complete list of leaders, I mean complete. Often there’s an understanding that a “church leader” is one of the deacons, elders, board members, committee chairs, or pastoral staff. But a church leader, by definition, is anyone who leads. That would include the “obvious” leaders plus all the Sunday school teachers, small group leaders, church staff members, the choir director, and the members of every committee. Even the nursery workers and youth leaders fall into this category. In even the smallest of churches, this can be a hefty list. But these are the leaders who bear the church’s ethos. If they don’t reflect the church’s expected behaviors, you shouldn’t realistically expect anyone else to do so either.
Once you have your leadership list, it’s a matter of comparing each one’s character and behaviors against the expectations. Of course you’re not looking for perfection. But you are looking for indications of spiritual fruit and an attempt to behave in a Christ-like manner.
Again, with the lists before you, you’re unlikely to have difficulty discerning who should be in leadership and who should not.
Apply the Expectations to All Leadership
It turns out that many churches find it difficult to evenly applying these expectations. There always seems to be a patriarch or matriarch who’s been in leadership for years, who seems to have a strong constituency, and who is either a Church Bully or a Church Terrorist. Removing these folks from leadership is difficult, and churches often take the path of least resistance—to ignore and/or tolerate them. But that path sidetracks and kills more churches than almost any other.
The most painless way to either convert or remove problem leaders is for the board to evenly apply the church’s behavioral expectations to all leaders. For instance, every leader should fully embrace the church’s mission, vision, values, beliefs, and behaviors. They should be involved in daily Bible study and prayer. Further, they should be involved with and attend a weekly small group. Those who choose to do otherwise should be considered to have resigned.
When your board and personnel committee first introduce these expectations, expect some pushback. However, we’ve noticed that those who dig their heels in deepest are those we would prefer to either convert or remove anyway, so take heart and press on. Ultimately, when the storms pass, you’ll discover the spiritual climate of the church will be fresh as the air after an April shower…and that’s a climate conducive to growth.
