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The First Core Spiritual Habit

Bill T-B | March 10, 2010

The first, and typically most transformative spiritual habit, is surprisingly scripture reading. I’m fond of saying “I’m a scientist’s son and a Mainliner at heart,” so when I tell church leaders that if they’ll just start reading scripture regularly their lives will be transformed, they sometimes look at me as if I was from a different planet. I don’t know what it is … I can’t explain it … but here’s what I’ve experienced over the years. If I can get the church leaders to start reading the Bible, the remaining steps to affecting sustainable church transformation are significantly easier.

Following a recent Congregational Coaching training event, the president of the council complained to the pastor: “Coach Bill seems to think that our church will grow if we just all start reading the Bible.” Of course his words bordered on overstatement – but only just. Three months later when I returned for their next training event I was approached by no fewer than three council members who each relayed how the council president had changed. He was more focused and patient, he listened more, and he was more open to hearing alternative view points. What brought on the transformation? According to him, it was when he started reading the Bible.

But there’s a counterpoint to my tale. I was introduced to a couple who shared they had a habit of reading from Proverbs each day. Since Proverbs has thirty-one chapters, they read the chapter corresponding to the day of the month. Now, I suspect that once upon a time their practice was transformative, but years later they were mired in Proverbs and expressed their reservations about the transformative value of scripture reading. Although Proverbs is a great book filled with witticisms and wisdom, perhaps immersion in the words of Christ and the Gospels themselves might be a wiser choice, at least for travel on the transformative road.

It’s been said that variety is the spice of life, but when it comes to transformative scripture reading, too much variety will stunt your spiritual growth and too little variety will starve you. Here are the basic guidelines I offer to the church leaders I work with.

  • Choose a version of the Bible that is (1) easy to read and understand, and (2) isn’t one you’re so familiar with that it’s become stale. If you’re unfamiliar with The Message, it offers a fresh perspective that will help you see the stories and instructions in a new light.
  • Start in the Gospel of Mark. It’s the shortest of the Gospels, it’s face paced, and you’ll get better acquainted with the guy who’s name you carry. I tend to recommend reading Luke or Matthew next, followed by the book of Acts. After that, when asked, I invite folks to read pretty much whatever seems to call their name, but that they revisit the Gospels at least four times a year, the book of Acts at least twice a year, and read the rest of the scriptures at a ratio of two New Testament books to every one Old Testament book. Nothing magical about the ratios – it just seems wise to invest in getting to know the author of the faith and the practices of the first century church.
  • Read whatever book you choose from the beginning to the end (not necessarily in one sitting!). Context is everything and if you read the book in the manner the author intended, it will make better sense.
  • Read logically. Read logical “chunks” of a book. In other words, don’t let the chapters or verses be the master of where you start and end reading. “Versification” was added long after the Bible was compiled and many chapters and verses seem to have been placed randomly. Read chunks of scripture that include complete stories or topics.
  • Read reflectively. I’ve found there are two primary Bible reading styles. First, there are those who read the scriptures so carefully and deliberately that it may take them a month to get through the four paragraph book of Jude . These folks may be missing the big picture. On the other hand, there are those who read the Bible as if it’s a novel they can’t put down. These may miss subtle nuances. If you have to err on one side or the other, read more quickly. We’re finding that those who are biblically “conversant” often fare better in conversations with non-Christians than those who can cite chapter and verse.
  • Read regularly. If you or your church leaders aren’t reading at all at this point (or rather rarely), any scripture reading is better than no scripture reading. For a new reader, reading the Bible weekly is alright. Reading a couple times a week is better, but the reality is that reading a chunk or two daily (or more) is best. Remember, it’s not how much scripture you get through, it’s how much scripture that gets through you.

Finally, how do you get your leaders to start reading? Ask them the first Discipleship Development accountability question: “What did you read in scripture this week that intrigued you?” It typically takes three to four consecutive weeks of asking, but if you’re faithful in your query, you’ll generally be rewarded with a positive response. In fact, I’ve never had to ask small group members more than four weeks in row before 100 percent are reading scripture every week. And if you get your leaders reading scripture, before you know it, you’ll notice a change in your leadership culture.

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The Five Core Spiritual Habits

Bill T-B | March 8, 2010

Although my book High-Voltage Spirituality is a compendium of forty-eight different spiritual habits (disciplines), in practice I maintain there are five core spiritual habits that provide a foundation for personal maturity and church growth.

And so it was with a mix of horror and relief when I was informed my book High-Voltage Spirituality was going out of print. Horror because I realized that I hadn’t been talking about spiritual disciplines as much on other topics. With a core belief that sustainable transformation is only possible when church leaders are committed to spiritual formation, I realized I’d lately been putting cart before horse. On the other hand, relief came when I realized that the Kindle version will still be available, and that we’ll be able to directly offer the PDF version on our sites.

And so, as a first-step to rectifying my recent lapse, I present the foundational five core habits. Practice these yourself and watch life fall into place. Get your leadership to practice these and watch your church embrace transformation. Over the next couple of days, I’ll post on each habit separately and there I’ll share details on how to practice the habits effectively and offer observations on what happens in churches when the leaders collectively begin to practice them.

The five core spiritual habits are:

  • Personal, Regular Scripture Reading
  • Prayer that Listens More than Talks
  • Intentionally Encouraging Other Christians
  • Kindnesses Done in Jesus’ Name
  • Personal Faith Sharing

In my experience, the list order provides a progression from those habits that most aid personal transformation to those habits that most aid church transformation. Sort of. Without the personal transformation of the leaders, congregational transformation simply isn’t going to happen. The church might grow by having excellent programming or an extraordinary marketing budge, but it won’t be sustainable growth – and it won’t transform the lives of those who come to taste-and-see. If leaders aren’t spiritually transformed, it’s a virtual guarantee wanderers (seekers/guests) won’t be either.

The next five posts will explore each spiritual habit in detail.

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Tomorrow’s Church Today – Pt. 2

Bill T-B | February 21, 2010

[Continued from "Tomorrow's Church Today - Pt. 1." The first half of this post was first published in the Mar-Apr 2010 issue of Net Results magazine.]

The technology used in the service would have been astounding to see in many churches, and yet nothing being used isn’t already a part of the culture’s fabric. Even the most traditional church is filled with members who are immersed in screen technology – television, movies, and computer screens grace their lives, so it is hardly surprising to find screen technology fully employed in the worship center. Multiple screens display much more than just the words to the music and the outline of the sermon. Videos illuminate, illustrate, and touch the core of the congregation’s emotions. Supporting and ancillary materials and suggested links flash on the screens to encourage deeper study and reflection – even during the service. Images, both static and animated, invite viewers to reflect, meditate, and contemplate the sermon’s teaching, like the stained glass of old opened windows of understanding in the great cathedrals of Europe. Dotted throughout the worship center are participants using laptops, iPads, smart phones, and cell phones to do further research; to find and consider alternative views; to provide additional material on the church’s wiki of the week; to exchange comments, thoughts, and opinions on the congregational forums and chat rooms; and even to communicate their questions, confusions, and affirmations to the speaker. What seems amazing is that the speaker is able to clarify points, explain concepts, and even answer relevant questions that are being delivered digitally live from the participants – and the speaker makes those adjustments on-the-fly. Clearly, the speaker isn’t just familiar with the sermon topic, but is well versed, well read, and therefore well received.

When the service is over, it’s clear that the service isn’t over. Although there are a few who race to the parking lot to beat the restaurant lunch rush, most of the participant appear to be in no hurry to leave. There is much conversation, and again we see clusters of people praying for each other. Many of the participants make their way to what must have been a fellowship hall at one time, but has been converted to a cozy cafè. Food and beverage services are available and soon many of the tables are filled with conversational groups most who seem to be discussing the service’s teaching. Floating throughout the room are hosts who drift between groups fulfilling hospitality needs from refilling coffee to answering questions, to clearing tables to facilitating conversations between table groups. The service’s speaker does similarly and engages several of the groups in further discussions.

All in all, though, the church of tomorrow doesn’t immediately appear to be all that different from a number of what some call “contemporary” or “alternative” churches today. However, peeling back the veneer of the weekend service reveals a couple of core differences. Whereas most churches today seem to exist for the weekend service, the church of tomorrow uses that service to enable, equip, and deploy the participants into the real world. During the week, we find the majority of the participants are connecting with one another informally. Some meet in multiple small groups where they are encouraged in their faith walk (and held accountable for their faith practices and behaviors). Others get together for meals, coffee, after work, or whenever they can “get away” to connect. They too find their faith habits and general conduct receiving attention from their Christ-following peers.

As “flies on the wall,” we can oversee these folks putting their faith to work in their vocational callings during the week. We see spontaneous, silent prayer breaks throughout the day and especially just before meetings and when decisions must be made, even before those that seem to be minor or banal decisions. But silent prayer is only the beginning. These men and women spend more time listening to faith stories than they do talking about why their coworkers should come to their church or consider their brand of faith. And when they hear accounts of dispair, pain, frustration, or fear, they offer to pray – and they do so then and there. Hand on shoulder, hushed pleas and quiet thanksgivings. Nothing elaborate or showy – indeed, it seems that few even notice the brief interchange. But the effect on the coworkers is profound.

When we look under the hood, so to speak, it seems clear that the weekend services play a distant second to the discipleship and ministries that seem to bloom spontaneously during the week. But we all know better, don’t we? All those weekday manifestations are part-and-parcel of a comprehensive commitment to life changes that surpass just head changes. It begins with a vision, not of a transformed church, but of a transforming process that invites and encourages all, from the most cynical unbeliever to the most entrenched church-goer, to take a first step in exploring a faith that demands more than just an enlightened mind. Knowing more about faith, about God, about theology, and even about expectations is good. But there’s a bottomless crevice between knowing and behaving. Our culture knows this – and has generally castigated Christianity because of that gap. The church of tomorrow not only knows this – it is intentional in creating processes to engender personal transformation. It encourages seekers and pilgrims alike to embark on that journey.  And it expects those who claim the name to live accordingly.

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Tomorrow’s Church Today – Pt. 1

Bill T-B |

[The following post is from the Editor's Foreward in the Mar-Apr 2010 issue of Net Results, North America's most experienced church growth and evangelism magazine.]

The role of the church is changing. Whether we like it or not, whether we’re ready for it or not, or whether we believe it or not. Back “in the day,” the church was the center of community life. I’m not old enough to remember that, but some readers might be. Back in my younger day, the church was a respected institution that had significant impact on society, but I’ve watched that respect and influence crumble around us. Today, by and large, the church is a cultural non-entity, and for most North Americans, the church is little more than a safe haven for yesterday’s yesterday.

Today, the “worship” service is still the central focus of the church. More of our time and effort is spent creating and developing meaningful content for the weekend service than on any other single task. And though most churches strive to create meaningful, participatory worship services, the actual experience tends to be more of a presentation to a passive audience.

Today’s teaching model for our worship services is a longstanding practice, and indeed the primary role, of the church since the rise of the Enlightenment. Tomorrow’s church will have to bridge the widening gap between “knowing” the truth (cognitive assent) and “practicing” the truth (behavioral modification). However, as Einstein pointed out, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In other words, continued preaching about how Christians need to behave isn’t going to close the gap between what we know and what we do.

Over the years, I’ve seen several solutions for helping “believers” become “practicing” disciples of Jesus batted about. Ultimately the answer will have to be more holistic than particular. The role of the church itself has to change from being a repository of doctrine to being a people and place that nurtures faith. The church will become an incubator of faith.

Take a quick tour with me as we visit a weekend service in tomorrow’s church – in a faith incubator.

Stepping inside the church of tomorrow is like stepping into the presence of royalty on a good day. The spirit hovering in the worship center, can only be described as a mixture of peace and excitement, kindness and warmth. Even the most sensitive empath or intuit is hard pressed to sense conflict in the air. Clearly, the congregation takes accountability and reconciliation seriously and disagreements are handled both agreeably and immediately.

As we look around, we notice that, like almost any church we’ve ever visited, there are numerous conversations going on here and there. However, on closer examination we watch a number of floating members who move from one person to another having conversations – some brief, some protracted. No one is overlooked by these hosts and kind words of welcome with genuine interest and concern are expressed. Perhaps what is most astounding is that during this informal gathering time, we witness people pausing to pray for one another in the midst of conversations. A hand on a shoulder; bowed heads; hushed pleas and quiet thanksgivings.

The worship service is significant in its interactivity. Throughout the service there is an instructional air, as if in a classroom. But it’s a different kind of classroom than those we have grown accustomed to in a church service. Instead, the teachings begin with the premise that all are striving to attain and maintain the most basic tenets of the faith. Nothing is presumed. Little is taught that can’t be directly applied. No lofty theologies that can’t be reflected in life-giving deeds and words that support and encourage. Interspersed within the teachings are opportunities for conversation and questions and even pushback. Indeed, it’s clear that there are guests who are exploring Christianity and are wresting with deism, syncretism, and pluralism, and their doubts, skepticisms, and even the occasional cynical expressions are taken is stride – as if this is not only expected, but welcomed as part of a process.

See Part Two …

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Church Leaders – A Contradiction in Terms?

Bill T-B | February 9, 2010

I received a thoughtful note from a Church-Talk listener. He contended that the church has fallen under the spell of the culture’s understanding and practice of leadership. He went on the say that the church must follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit rather than fallen mortal man. I thought he was pretty perceptive in his observation – but that there’s more to the story. So, below is my response.

It is true that in the New Testament the word for Leader or Leadership occurs rarely – in fact, only eight times, and five of those times it has less to do with church leadership and more with leading households or leading in “good works” (see http://www.jbc.edu/college/images/churchrelations/churchlink/PDFs/Linton-Prohistemi.pdf).  On the other hand, the word “pastor” only occurs once – and that in the list of church “offices” in Eph 4:11 – though there are other words used to describe those in church “leadership” such as elders/presbyters/bishops.

And though the words “leader” and “pastor” are notably absent in the New Testament, the focus on Followership is predominant. Jesus repeatedly called one person after another to follow him. Later, Paul took up that mantle and on repeated occasions (and five quite blatantly) he says “Follow me” – including once when he instructs “Follow me as I follow Christ.”

However, that brings up an important distinction. By definition, a leader is someone who has followers, and although the New Testament focus is on “following,” followers by definition are following a leader (formally or informally).

Jesus was expressly clear that those who lead (in the church?) should not “lord it over one another as the Gentiles do” (Mat 20:25-26). Leadership in the church, when it’s finely exegeted and understood in context, is a lot more about mentoring, modeling, and serving and a lot less about barking orders.

Which is the paradigm we work from in Net Results, Church-Talk, and the 21st Century Strategies: effective leaders lead as mentors and models of discipleship. Further, we firmly believe that poor leadership in mentoring and modeling are the primary reasons the church in North America is in serious decline. Far too many pastors and church leaders are involved in management and administration rather in disciple-making and conspicuously living the faith.

Once again, the New Testament, and especially the book of Acts, illustrates what the church “could” look like. The leaders were busy making disciples (both more and more effective) and the “congregation,” that is everyone else, was active in doing direct, hands-on ministries (practicing personal worship, one-anothering, reaching out to the unchurched, and discipleship/holding accountable). And though the leadership of the Holy Spirit is a key feature in Acts, the leading of the Spirit was through the head, heart, and hands of those who served in leadership (particularly demonstrated and seen in the leadership of Peter, Paul, and Timothy).

The problem with the church is that it is, and always has been, made up of fallen people (as if it could be any other way). Whether these people serve as a leader or as a disciple (a fine biblical word that once again implies followership), each is called to hold one-another accountable in the practice of the faith (see Jesus’ model of accountability throughout Matthew’s gospel, e.g., Mat 5:22-23; 18:15-17). But ultimately, a local church without those serving in a leadership capacity (whether we call that office using the New Testament terms pastor, elder, presbyter, or bishop) is a church with a rudder, but one without anyone holding on to it.

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Motivotional of the Week

Bill T-B | August 18, 2009

Monday through Friday on www.HitchhikersGuideToEvangelism.com we provide a motivotional – a motivating devotional – to help our member churches stay focused on sharing their faith. This is Monday’s motivotional that was shot at Lake Tahoe last week.

Click here To Watch Video
Click to Watch!

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Hard Times are a Leader’s Training School Paradise

Bill T-B | June 3, 2009

In difficult times, churches have a tendency to clap shut their shutters, hide their money under mattresses, and delay anything that might be innovative and new – especially if it costs more than a nickle. Okay, so I exaggerate. A little. But the reality is that when the economy or the political winds turn fierce, churches tend to put on their most conservative faces and practices, and I don’ t mean theologically (though I guess some of that too). Amidst those practices, the church often defaults to it’s oldest and wisest leaders for direction for almost everything. Decisions are made carefully, thoughtfully, and conservatively lest the actions make the situation even worse than it is.

And yet, these are the very best times to test the mettle and buff the rough edges from new and future leaders. It’s been said that no one learns to be great by success – only in failure. And though the possibility of adding failure to the already tough times seems counterintuitive, the risk is well worth the potential, especially when there’s so much to gain. Since most churches have been in a decade slump in terms of attendance, membership, and finances, the risk level of empowering new leadership seems relatively low. What do we really have to lose? What most churches are doing now hasn’t been working for awhile.

One regularly expressed concerns is that it’s difficult to raise up new leaders. Although this may be a legitimate concern, often the reality is that new leaders are unwilling to step up because they do not expect to have the space to lead as God leads them. Indeed, some potential leaders have tried to lead, only to have current leaders step up to micromanage the project, to criticize the way the project is being handled, or to complain that they weren’t consulted, invited, or honored. When this kind of treatment happens once, the word spreads quickly … when it happens repeatedly, it becomes virtually impossible to raise up new leaders.

Letting go of leadership is difficult. There are power issues involved. Personal feelings are involved. Tradition is involved. No matter what, getting current leaders to step back enough to allow new leadership is difficult, and yet that is what’s called for – especially in these times. If you’re committed to raising up new leaders, here is a brief bullet list of how to effectively hand over the reigns while limiting the risks of catastrophic failure.

  1. Don’t give the new leader a job description, give them mission and vision statements that include expected outcomes. For a new Christian Education Team Leader, a mission and vision might look like this. Mission: “To teach, train, equip, and empower all ages and stages of disciples and would-be disciples of Jesus.” Vision: “Seventy percent of all adults and 100 percent of children and youth participating in some form of effective faith formation opportunities.”
  2. Ensure the lines of responsibility are clear. Each new leader of a program or ministry should have a staff member (paid or unpaid) to whom they are responsible for results.
  3. Insist that new leaders lead, not just do. If they cannot raise up followers, they are not leaders. All leaders must develop a team in order to accomplish the ministry task.
  4. Allow the new leader to develop their own plans. So long as the plan fits into the mission and vision of the church, reflects the congregational values, and does not violate the beliefs and expected behaviors, then the leader should be allowed to strategize, plan, set goals, and implement as needed. However, the use of resources must be coordinated with their staff liaison/church office.
  5. The staff liaison should be in conversation with the new leader regularly, and at least monthly for a mentoring and check-in appointment. This meeting should be an encouragement meeting that keeps the motivation high and supports the work of the new leader. Help the leader set reasonable and measurable goals.
  6. Above all, do not allow former leaders to rain on the new leader’s parade. The staff liaison should help provide a safety shield around the new leader if necessary.
  7. Hold the new leader accountable for results, especially the results that they have set themselves (in #5 above).
  8. Remember that failure is a learning opportunity – and is only a failure if the new leader doesn’t pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and start again.

In times like these, the need for our brightest and most innovative is required. By helping new leaders to take the reigns, the church can make the most of this leadership training school paradise.

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On the Road Experiences

Bill T-B | May 1, 2009

Today I’m beginning the last leg of three weeks on the road. It’s been an interesting journey that almost transcends history.

It began almost three weeks ago at the 2009 TYPO3 Conference in Dallas. There, we talked about and learned more about internet ministry, particularly using a Content Management System to create websites that don’t just sizzle, but facilitate real ministry. It was a look at the future.

Next came Exponential 2009 where I was one of the presenters (thanks to Bill Easum for the opportunity). Exponential is the nation’s largest church planting conference. I had the good fortune to rub shoulders with Alan Hirsch, Francis Chan, Ed Stetzer, Tom Clegg, and Neil Cole – all heroes of my faith journey. Since I’ve planted a couple of churches in my day, I found it both exciting and depressing to hear what’s going on in the church planting world (more on why it depressed me in a future post).

Next, it was off to Chicago and the NACCC Minister’s Convocation on the Mundelein Seminary campus (NACCC = National Association of Congregational Christian Churches). I was asked to lead a retreat on the “E” word. It was a beautiful setting and gratifying to know that there’s rising interest in relevant evangelism practices in the Congregational Church.

And so, now I’m on my way to New York where I’ll lead a training/overview on the house church movement to United Methodist clergy who are interested in doing something completely different. That will be gentle look into our past.
Future, Present, and Past. It’s where the church is.

As I take a few minutes to reflect on my journey, I’m heartened by the men and women whose eyes lit up as we talk about ministry practices that can speak to the present and future generations. But my joy is tempered by the reality that has so clearly presented itself by so many of the leaders I’ve rubbed shoulders with these last three weeks. There is a resignation in the eyes, defeat in their minds, and hopelessness in the spirits of far too many of our church leaders. They’ve heard the spiel of the pundants and the promise of their programs for too long and have seen so little change. They’ve tried a little bit of this and a little bit of that. They’ve gone to mega church conferences, micro retreats, and denominational convocations that roll out more hype than a used car sales commercial, but leave with little substance. And so, largely, they’ve given up and are mostly going through the motions.

Who’s to blame them? Most – though certainly not all – got into ministry to change lives through Jesus Christ. But let’s be really, really honest. Most of the members of most of our churches are pretty much the same people they’ve been for decades. They may know more about the Bible and they may know more about God, but their primary spiritual relationship is with the the church rather than with Jesus – with the bride rather than groom.

And so, I continue my journey … physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’m biblically grounded enough to know God’s in charge and the Spirit can do great and awesome things. And I’m a student of history enough to know that just because they can, they’ve seldom moved upon a culture to change the hearts of the adherents, choosing to move on to receptive fields (currently in China, India, SE Asia, Northern Africa, and Latin America). Historically the change, if there is to be one, comes from those who are willing and able to emerge from the culture and rise above it. That won’t come from programs, but from life changes – and until our eyes light up, there will be precious few of those.

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You Just Never Know

Bill T-B | April 19, 2009

Yesterday morning I was in my hotel’s breakfast nook with Trevor from Cambodia. Sitting at the next table was Glenn and Bob (not his real name). Bob was the only non-Christian among us and he and Glenn were having a typical “Geek” conversation about TYPO3 (the website content management system that was the focus of the conference we were all attending).

The conversation between Trevor and I ran it’s typical course, at least for me. We’re both of the school that the Western Church is largely ineffective, if not unfaithful, and that even the emergent movement has left its first love. The conversation was animated as we dismantled many of the church’s sacred cows and noted that little the Western Church actually does or practices has any biblical basis (weekly worship, buildings, preaching, pulpits, pews, altars, professional clergy, etc.). Then we began to speak of those instances where we saw the church being the embodied Jesus. We spoke of developing nation churches as well as those churches in the West where prayer and discipleship was actually practiced. And finally, we both shared personal stories of where we’d seen Jesus at work in our lives.

Did I say it was an animated conversation? We had a grand time together, moments that make new friends especially wonderful and it’s entirely possible that those around us couldn’t help but overhearing little snatches of the conversation. In the end we all headed for the last day of the conference together.

Later that day, I ran into Glenn in the hallway of the Irving Bible Church where the TYPO3 Conference was being held. It turns out that he had just returned from dropping Bob off at the airport. He stopped me and said he’d had an interesting conversation with Bob on the drive. It turns out that Bob, our non-Christian friend, had overheard Trevor and I talking candidly about the church, about Christianity, and about Jesus. Bob admitted that his view of the Christian faith was, shall we say, unsavory and that he’d grown up having no use for any of it, including this Jesus. But he’d heard something in a different light that morning and he asked Glenn to “Tell me more about this Jesus dude.”

The point is, what do you talk about when you’re out in public? You never really know who’s eavesdropping and you don’t know the affect your conversation may have on those around you. And so, here’s a couple of tips I’ve picked up as a “hitchhiker” along the way.

  1. Keeps Acts 1:8 in mind. You’re called to be a witness wherever you go. There are lots of things you can talk about, but not everything is worth a whole conversation. If your God talk doesn’t well up from within you naturally, it’s time to invest more of your time in Bible reading, prayer, personal worship, encouraging others in the faith, and other spiritual habits.
  2. If you’re going to engage in “God talk,” have the integrity to be authentic. This isn’t an invitation to slam the church or the faith, but it is an invitation to be honest about your faith. If you’re wrestling with doubts, don’t put on the air of having it all together. If you’re looking for something more, don’t be afraid to say so.
  3. Don’t be so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good. If butter won’t melt in your mouth, get thee to a nunnery or a monastery whichever suits you best. The Western Church is in dire need of disciples who are “real” and have lived a “real” life. Trevor and I laughed like hyenas and although we weren’t particularly profane, we sure as heck weren’t holier-than-anyone else. Having fun is not a sin. Either is smiling, laughing, and even carrying on some.
  4. And finally, expect God to do things with you, through you, and around you. Many Christians walk through life without keeping their eyes open for what God’s doing all around them. They don’t expect God to be busy intervening in their lives, let alone the lives of “innocent” bystanders. Keep your eyes open, both the ones in your head and the ones in your spirit. You may be surprised at what’s really going on around you.
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The “Magic” of Unspoken Conflict

Bill T-B | January 15, 2009

I received so many responses to my last post on the Top Five Reasons Churches Don’t Grow that I could probably blog a new post on any one of the comments and have almost a month’s worth of writing.

However, a comment from TF brought back a flood of thoughts that I thought I’d share. His/her question was about whether there could be “unspoken” conflict in a church – and that the pastor maintained a mantra of the importance of unity rather than dealing with unresolved and unspoken conflict. You know, you don’t want to open that “can of worms.”

Unspoken conflict, which is a euphemism for unresolved conflict, is literally killing churches. Indeed, many churches operate under an illusion of “unity and harmony.” The congregation, particularly the leadership, make heroic attempts to cover up, tuck under their sleeves, and practice mis-direction and sleight of hand to try and convince the “audience” that all is well. It’s much like Jeremiah’s comment that they say “Peace, Peace” when there is no peace. Let me be less than nice for a moment and call it like it is. Congregational leaders who are making these attempts are guilty of promulgating and perpetuating a lie – and a congregation that is living a lie isn’t likely to be visited with many blessings. Those of the congregation who are a part of the unspoken, unresolved conflict need to take seriously Paul’s admonition in 2 Corinthians 13:5 (”Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.”). I refuse to enter a debate about the definition of a Christian, but someone who claims to be a Christ follower who doesn’t behave like a Christian, who either refuses to reconcile with another or who perpetuates a lie isn’t likely to pass the 2 Cor 13:5 test.

So, here’s the thing. If you’re a part of a congregation that refuses to deal with unresolved conflict … if your leadership continues to indulge in the fantasy and delusion that conflict will resolve itself if left alone … and if you’ve approached leadership about the issue (you’re held to Matthew 18:15-17 too) and have been blown off, then it’s time for you to find a congregation that’s not living a lie.

If you’re a part of the conflict, whether it’s your fault or not, it’s time to put your discipleship into action. Put Matthew 5:23-24 or Matthew 18:15-17 into practice.

And if you’re a leader who’s helping to “smooth over” unresolved conflict and you’re not getting any results, step up and be a leader … put Matthew 18:15-17 into play from the first “If” to the last “then.” If that means the church loses a couple of members, then so be it. To paraphrase one of Jesus’ sayings, “Better to lose a church member than the whole body to be cast out.”

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